“You choose what to think about. And you may not feel that way every day, but the truth is, that you choose what you think about. It’s one of the few things that you can choose and it is—it’s kind of the definition, I think, of being a person. It’s that you have this weird gift of consciousness and you get to choose how you direct that gift. Like, how you direct your ability to think about things. So, if you choose to think about the relative health of the romantic relationships of The Situation, you’re making that choice. MTV is not making that choice for you, The Situation is not making that choice for you, you are making that choice. If you choose to think about astrophysics, you are making that choice. Every second of your definitionally temporary consciousness, you are choosing how you spend something that will not last forever. You are choosing how you spend your life, and it will be spent. And that’s a very serious thing that you have to try to take pretty seriously, even though, of course, much of our lives—because consciousness is kind of a burden—needs to be spent turning that off, which is, you know, why God made television. But we have this responsibility to ourselves, to each other, but also to the people who came before us and the people who will come after us, to think consciously about what we’re thinking about. And that was, in some ways the beginning of The Fault in Our Stars for me, was trying to think about, what I should be thinking about. Trying to think how I should be orienting my life, what should I value, what should I prioritize. And I grew up—and so did most of you—I think, in a world that values a very specific kind of heroism. The kind where you jump on a grenade to save your buddy, or you die heroically because your family says that you can’t marry the girl you want to marry, and you’re fourteen and somehow you think that’s a deal breaker?—which is the plot of Romeo and Juliet, I ruined it for some of you, sorry; I should have prefaced that with a spoiler alert, but if you haven’t read Romeo and Juliet, that’s your fault—or in another of our great epics of heroism, The Odyssey—which I’m also about to spoil for you, but it’s a good reading experience, regardless. There’s this dude, his name’s Odysseus, he does some good warring, top-notch warring, and it takes him a long time to get home, because a bunch of stuff happens, and then he finally gets home and his wife has a bunch of suitors, and the correct response to that situation is to be like, ‘Hey! I was gone for a long time, and there’s no text messaging, you didn’t know I was okay, like of course there’s a bunch of suitors living here, that’s cool, but suitors it’s time to head on out and, you know, find someone else’s house to occupy.’ And instead, what happens is that the palace floors course with blood, and that is your happily-ever-after ending. And Augustus Waters in this novel really buys into that idea of heroism, that idea that the best lives are lived on the biggest possible stage, and that the best lives are lived with an eye toward the grand heroic gesture, whether it be sacrificial or otherwise. That, like, the good life, by definition, is the big life. Well, I’m here to tell you that even the biggest lives are temporary, including the life of Odysseus, including the life of Romeo and Juliet, because, you know, we’re temporary. And if that’s the only way that we orient our lives, if that’s the only thing that we value, we’re doing ourselves, I think, a great disservice. So, I wanted to write The Fault in Our Stars because I wanted to write a story that was about the kind of small heroism that almost all of us are going to have to choose; very few of us will have the opportunity to jump on a grenade and save many, many people. The vast majority of us will have to find tiny ways to take care of ourselves and each other in the best ways that we can figure out how to do. And that’s really what The Fault in Our Stars is about, ultimately. It’s about these two kids and their parents trying to figure out how to take good care of each other and trying to figure out how to leave the best possible world for those who will come after, and also live a life that honors those who have come before.”—John Green, on The Fault in Our Stars at the Tour de Nerdfighting Event in Austin, Texas (21 January 2012)
I am officially 19. Which, granted, does not sound nearly as cool as twenty will sound next year, but whatever. I’m taking what I can get. Today mi familia and I went out to Half Price Books and Barnes&Noble, which is exactly what I wanted to do. Then we were gonna eat at Cheddars but we couldn’t even get inside to find out how long the wait was it was so effing packed, so we went to Steak-n-Shake instead. Fun stuff. :) And I know it’s thoughtless and dumb, but all the facebook posts make me happy.
Plus, I spent $120 on books today. I feel the need to compile a list.
Matila and Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, because I need them for my Roald Dahl section.
An Abundance of Katherines and Will Grayson, Will Grayson, because I need them for my John Green collection. Also, I have yet to read WG, WG.
the next installment of the Secrets of My Hollywood Life series by Jen Calonita, which was a pleasant surprise since I didn’t know it was out yet
What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen, because I leant it to one of my friends nearly a year ago and have yet to get it back which pisses me off especially since said friend has apparently gone off the map and is impossible to contact so I’m out another $20
Bunheads by Sophie Flack and The Black Sheep by Yvonne Collins and Sandy Rideout, both of which I have no read but looked interesting
RENT by Jonathan Larson, which is a giant ass book about the musical and interviews with the cast, crew, producers, etc that cost me $40 but was way worth it because it also has a screenplay in it. I’ve decided to call it my bible.
Now and I can fufil my dream and put on the production in my backyard! :D
“The tales of our exploits will survive as long as the human voice itself,” he said. “And even after that, when the robots recall the human absurdities of sacrifice and compassion, they will remember us.”—
“I’m in love with you.” he said quietly.
“Augustus,” I said.
“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know that the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”—The Fault in Our Stars, John Green
So I totally need to go to bed because it’s 1:37 AM and I have to get up at 10:30 so I can go to class at noon. And today I had a class at 10:35 so I was supposed to get up at 9AM but I didn’t feel like it because it’s math and I hate it and I’m behind anyway and I was sleepy so I didn’t go but I didn’t look at my phone until I got to school just before my 12pm class and there was a text from my math teacher saying a telephone pole or something went down in her neighborhood fell over so math class was cancelled and I was like
aaaaaand yeah. So I went to english and had fun and then made mom a birthday cake and we went out to dinner and then ate cake and watched Switched at Birth and I watched Teen Mom and I’ve been reading old RP posts for like the last few hours and I realize how amazing/clever/ghetto fabulous Nicky and I are and I miss her face. And I really need to go to bed because I have class tomorrow and I gotta do english homework and HOLY SHIT BATTLE OF THE EXES STARTS TOMORROW NIGHT I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT.
that is all. off to remove my makeup which is a pain in the ass and then go to bed with my comfy new zebra blankey my parents got me for my birfday.
xoxoxox randomness fun.
ugggghhhh why can’t i just quit school and tumbl full time?